Why Doesn't Michelle Cottle Run the New Republic?

A good piece, head-and-shoulders above the run-of-the-mill that we see in _We-Love-Ann-Coulter Weekly_ these days:

Why George Allen isn't an authentic good ole boy: I find Allen personally objectionable for much the same reason I do George W. Bush. Having spent much of my youth in East Tennessee, I am all too familiar with both the charms and the downsides of good ole boys and even hard-core rednecks. And what never ceases to amaze me is how pretenders like Bush (eternally aiming for good ole boy status) and Allen (with even grander pretensions of redneckdom) always seem to latch on to the less admirable aspects of the breed. Allen's enduring obsession with the Confederacy and slavery would be morally questionable coming from someone reared in Greenville, Mississippi, listening to romanticized accounts of how his great-great-grandpappy took one in the gut at the Battle of Vicksburg. From a well-to-do kid raised by non-Southern parents in the suburbs of Chicago and Los Angeles, it's downright revolting.

Less overtly offensive but equally obnoxious is Bush's I-never-put-much-stock-in-book-learnin' shtick: Doesn't follow the news. Doesn't pay attention to so-called experts and other pointy-headed types. Doesn't bother himself with policy details. Goes with his gut. Blah blah blah....

It's one thing for some redneck raised around all that racist, ignorance-is-bliss nonsense to buy into it. It's quite another for some privileged twit from the West Coast to fall so in love with the cartoon image of Johnny Reb that he starts collecting Confederate memorabilia and dipping Copenhagen just to feel macho.... Bush and Allen... just want to play the role without any of the hard luck.... A phony good ole boy is an unlikable oxymoron. If politics were just, the Georges' hick affectations would have long-ago rendered both men about as popular as vegetarians at a pig roast. As things stand, I have to content myself with seeing W.'s abysmal job performance sink his poll numbers--sorry you blew off 41's Iraq advice yet, 43?--and watching as Allen struggles to wipe the macaca off his face.